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Update: Learning to live

This post is going to be a little bit different. I know in my last post I said that I’m back into blogging and will be blogging more frequently, but unfortunately, that is not the case. It may get a little deep and serious, so If you want to click off this post, then that’s perfectly fine. I just wanted to update regular readers and those asking why I haven’t been posting.

I’m going to summarise what has been going on in the past few months.

I had semester one exams, which were difficult because I haven’t been in the best state mentally. I cannot focus well enough and revision has been non existent. Regardless, I did pass my exams which I am more than grateful for. But this mood has just continued, if not, gotten worse through the months.

I lost my best friend. I am no longer in contact with him, and honestly I don’t think there will be any reconciliation between us. I prefer to keep my personal life private, so I won’t be giving details. So that is all I am comfortable enough to announce. I miss my best friend and I do wish him the best in life.

Now as expected, this has taken a toll on me. I find it a lot harder to continue with my life the way I used to when I no longer have my rock there with me. All i’ve been doing is eating junk food, sleeping, gaining around ten kilos, breaking out and feeling sorry for myself. I can’t even do retail therapy because my bank balance won’t allow it. 

But life goes on. My other best friend (who is also my roommate and who I class as family) has been there for me and has been making me feel so much better. I don’t think I would be here if it wasn’t for her. 

I guess that just reiterates the importance of having great friends and having those who love you, and you love, around you.

I went on holiday to Amsterdam, and was supposed to write a post on that. I never got round to writing the post, but I did edit a video and put that on my youtube channel. I honestly hoped that a getaway would help me feel better and cope with it all, but it didn’t. And that’s okay. I will learn how to deal with it with time.

I will learn to focus on University and this blog. I will learn to focus on my health, both physical and mental. I will learn to focus on my relationships with friends and family.

I am planning on going out with friends, catching up with university revision and hopefully joining a gym. Maybe even get a job to make my bank balance a little nicer.

I just want to take this time to say thank you to everyone who has been helping me. I need you to understand that although I may not show it well enough, I really appreciate you guys making me smile and being patient with me. I need you now more than ever.

But for now, I need time. I will probably still write posts when I feel like I can get out of bed and write them. I will still post occasionally on social media. But if I don’t reply to messages, emails or comments. I’m honestly very sorry. I just can’t.

This is not a pity post. This is not a post for attention.

I feel bad that I can’t do what I love because my emotions and mental health are getting in the way. But I know I will be okay with time. Everyone deals with heartbreak in different ways, and it takes some people longer than others.

I will try my best to not let my blog suffer, but this will happen and I can’t do much about that. I just wanted to update you guys.

Lots of love,

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4 Comments

  • Reply Humaira

    Madiha, your blog name describes you perfectly. You versus the odds. Sadly in life we go through hardships and unfortunately a part of growing up is growing away from friends we considered as close as family.

    It’s hard but with time you will start to feel more normal and more yourself.

    Take everything one day at a time, practice self love even if it means being selfish.

    Lots of hugs.

    March 19, 2018 at 9:26 pm
  • Reply Hebah

    Aw Madiha. I sympathise with you, and I’m sorry that you’re going through this! I am glad you passed your exams, and I truly hope you regain your passion for blogging and your mental health improves. Much love. xx

    https://www.hebahpervaiz.co.uk

    March 20, 2018 at 5:21 pm
  • Reply Aleeha

    Definitely prioritise your mental health! I’ll still be here to read any posts that you have time to put up, even if it’s not very often 🙂
    Aleeha xXx
    http://www.halesaaw.co.uk/

    March 21, 2018 at 11:34 pm
  • Reply Rabia Kausar

    I hope everything gets better for you soon, focus on yourself first as your health is more important!

    March 27, 2018 at 12:46 pm
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