This post is going to be a little bit different. I know in my last post I said that I’m back into blogging and will be blogging more frequently, but unfortunately, that is not the case. It may get a little deep and serious, so If you want to click off this post, then that’s perfectly fine. I just wanted to update regular readers and those asking why I haven’t been posting.
I’m going to summarise what has been going on in the past few months.
I had semester one exams, which were difficult because I haven’t been in the best state mentally. I cannot focus well enough and revision has been non existent. Regardless, I did pass my exams which I am more than grateful for. But this mood has just continued, if not, gotten worse through the months.
I lost my best friend. I am no longer in contact with him, and honestly I don’t think there will be any reconciliation between us. I prefer to keep my personal life private, so I won’t be giving details. So that is all I am comfortable enough to announce. I miss my best friend and I do wish him the best in life.
Now as expected, this has taken a toll on me. I find it a lot harder to continue with my life the way I used to when I no longer have my rock there with me. All i’ve been doing is eating junk food, sleeping, gaining around ten kilos, breaking out and feeling sorry for myself. I can’t even do retail therapy because my bank balance won’t allow it.
But life goes on. My other best friend (who is also my roommate and who I class as family) has been there for me and has been making me feel so much better. I don’t think I would be here if it wasn’t for her.
I guess that just reiterates the importance of having great friends and having those who love you, and you love, around you.
I went on holiday to Amsterdam, and was supposed to write a post on that. I never got round to writing the post, but I did edit a video and put that on my youtube channel. I honestly hoped that a getaway would help me feel better and cope with it all, but it didn’t. And that’s okay. I will learn how to deal with it with time.
I will learn to focus on University and this blog. I will learn to focus on my health, both physical and mental. I will learn to focus on my relationships with friends and family.
I am planning on going out with friends, catching up with university revision and hopefully joining a gym. Maybe even get a job to make my bank balance a little nicer.
I just want to take this time to say thank you to everyone who has been helping me. I need you to understand that although I may not show it well enough, I really appreciate you guys making me smile and being patient with me. I need you now more than ever.
But for now, I need time. I will probably still write posts when I feel like I can get out of bed and write them. I will still post occasionally on social media. But if I don’t reply to messages, emails or comments. I’m honestly very sorry. I just can’t.
This is not a pity post. This is not a post for attention.
I feel bad that I can’t do what I love because my emotions and mental health are getting in the way. But I know I will be okay with time. Everyone deals with heartbreak in different ways, and it takes some people longer than others.
I will try my best to not let my blog suffer, but this will happen and I can’t do much about that. I just wanted to update you guys.
Lots of love,