You see on twitter, day in day out, that if you’re in a toxic relationship, wether that be romantic or not, leave. It’s not good for you. You deserve better. But, what if you’re the toxic one in any relationship? Let’s talk
What am I talking about?
Let me show you.
See what I mean? People are going round left, right and centre advocating about toxicity in relationships. But not many people will admit the toxic person is themselves. Not many people will admit that they are the ones with the toxic traits. It’s much easier to blame others instead of finding the issues within you.
I came to a realisation
I’m the toxic one in the relationship. You probably are too. He is too. So is she.
Remember when Hannah Montana said nobodys perfect (yeah i’m using this disney analogy, sue me), that resonates in EVERY SINGLE PERSON. We’re all a little toxic. Some of us more than others. But we all have toxic traits. Now that could be defined different depending on how you see toxicity in relationships.
Now I am in no way an expert in relationships, be it romantic or platonic. I argue with everyone I care about, I cause issues, I can fight day in day out (although I really do hate it). See what I mean, toxic? I can confidently say most issues cause in my life are my own fault, most arguments with friends, family, loved ones, are because of me. Partly.
I’d never blame something purely on one person, and I can’t blame myself for relationship downfalls. It takes two to tango.
So what do I do if I’m toxic?
Take a step back. Take two step backs. Take three steps back.
Keep stepping until you realise where you are going wrong. Find out what those toxic traits are. Find out what affect they’re having on your relationships, find out how to fix up. You need fixing, as do I. I’m not proud of it. You’re not broken, but you do need touch ups. You need to heal. See someone about your issues. It’s not embarrassing, or frowned upon. It’s mature. When you’re ill and you’re not getting any better, you see a doctor or a pharmacist and ask for advice (maybe medication). It works the same way when they’re something wrong with your personality.
Talking to the person you’re in a relationship about the toxicity, explaining what is wrong and what is happening. Talking about the affects is has on your relationship. Work out how to improve. If you’re not willing to do that, then leave. You’re not doing any good for either of you. Be honest with yourself.
I’m trying to be as blunt as possible, and talk about something that needs to be discussed.
As for anyone who reads this, apologise and mean it. I apologise to every single person I have hurt because of my toxic traits.
If you understand where I’m coming from, or disagree, comment and let me know. Heck, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.
Lots of love,